We could make a real bad joke here about the safest places to keep your stuff.
But this isn’t a joke – Japan’s got butt bags. And we’re not talking about those hiking/exercise bum bags that clip round your waist. Nope. Bags with actual butts. Everything from Pikachu’s butt to bum-faced detective Oshiri Tantei.
If you’re curious, butt bags aren’t hard to get hold of. We’ve come up with some cool reasons to use them:
You’ll get attention for sure
When was the last time anyone said ‘hey, that’s a cool bag’ to you? If it’s been a while, maybe you need to shake things up. Get a brand new bag. You need more than an accessory – you need something eye-catching. Something that gets a reaction.
“Hey, that’s a cool- wait. wait wait wait. Is that a butt?”
These designs are cheeky as hell. And we don’t just mean ‘designed to have butt cheeks’. They make people do a double take, and stare for way longer than normal.
When that happens, say ‘hey, are you checking out my butt?’ and watch them blush.
They hold a surprising amount of stuff
Some butt pouches are small, like coin cases and pass cases. Others can hold your phone, keys, money, makeup, and/or a pack of gum. The amount of space you’ve got to work with might surprise you.
You could compare it to how hamsters hold food in their cheeks. Except we’re talking about those other cheeks again. Yep, hamster butts are pretty roomy. They’ll keep your stuff safe in there all winter long.
Butt bags help prove that what’s on the inside counts. They look super weird at a glance… at a 2nd glance… whenever one comes into your line of sight, to be honest. But you definitely get the ‘bag’ bit of ‘butt bag’. Interesting and useful’s a rare combo.
Nobody’s gonna touch your junk
A butt bag stands out. It gets attention. That’s also the downside for anyone looking to take it. You’d notice straight off if it was moved, or missing. So will other people – they know it’s yours, so they’ll spot if someone else gets hold of it.
A bag that looks like this puts people off touching it. As if a would-be thief’s gonna risk being caught feeling around in your butt. How embarrassing.
They won’t have the balls. But your bag might. Cat butt pouches come with 2 little fluffy pompoms you can’t mistake for anything else. And a big X butthole, right under the tail.
Think of it as a bonus. You buy the bag for the butt, it comes with other body parts that put snoopers off their snoop. And off their lunch, as well. Winner.
Started from the bottom, now you’re here
Order a cute Japanese butt bag on DEJAPAN, and we won’t judge you. (We promise.)